i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
