I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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