Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
