Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
