Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
