the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
