happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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