I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
