I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The air was thick with penises
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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