It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Send help, water and tortillas.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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