I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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