how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
