btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
