Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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