can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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