His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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