Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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