I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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