i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
please don't ironically join a cult
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