I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
