just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
