Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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