That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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