he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
