i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I understand Curling. That high.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
