playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
