shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
