You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just googled if crying burns calories
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
