so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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