My liver just broke up with me...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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