She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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