It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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