My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
