Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
