i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
