that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
