Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
