M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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