Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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