It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
