i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
