i barfeds in our rink
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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