Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize