Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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