the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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