who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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