That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
