he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
