you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
