i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
