Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
