Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
