I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
