Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My vagina just recognized that song.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
