There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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