i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
