Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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