Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
